My Anti-Resolutions

image via nyc-architecture.com

I hate New Years’ resolutions. To me it’s like saying, “hey, check out this big list of shit I’m going to fail at, probably before January is even over”. I have no idea why that is, but I’m thinking it’s not just me. Why else is it impossible to get in a spin class the first three weeks of January and then everything goes right back to normal by February?

Our list of resolutions are pretty awesome though. It’s a list of ways we want to be a better person. Perhaps even a perfect person. That’s completely impossible obviously, and maybe why most fail. Maybe the lists are too big and overwhelming, so we just give up. (I mean, how can you lose 30 pounds, bake cookies for the PTA, call your mom every day, AND run a marathon by January 2nd to prove your awesomeness?)

It’s hard to resist the call to “be a better person” when the calendar rolls over, though. Everyone’s talking about resolutions; getting in shape, drinking more water, giving up sugar, etc. I propose the anti-resolution. I’m not going to ADD to my list of awesomeness. I’m going to whittle it down to the three things that are most important to me. If what I’m doing doesn’t fit into one of these three categories or can benefit it in some way, I’m not wasting energy on it.

Family, fitness, and finances. Yep. That’s my focus. My anti-resolutions.

My family obviously deserves to be a priority. I’m sure my kids won’t look back and say, “well, mom ran a kick ass facebook page”. But they will remember the time I spend with them. My husband won’t care how many hits I have on a post, but he will care about how much time I spend with him.

Fitness is also a priority. I do care about how I look. Part of it is vanity and part of it is wanting to be around a long time for my family and not laid up in a bed at age 70. I want to be the crazy grandma that people can’t believe how “old” she is. I want to go out dancing when I’m 80 and be the Queen of the Bingo.

Finances. I don’t want to be an extreme couponer. Those people totally freak me out. But, I’m pretty sure there are ways our family can save money and I plan to find those ways. Without giving up shoes.

What? These sound like resolutions, you say? I guess to some they could be considered resolutions. I consider them anti-resolutions because by focusing on just these three things, I’m freeing up a whole lot of myself. Instead of spreading myself too thin, I’m giving myself only a few things to focus on. Like I said, if at any given time what I’m doing doesn’t benefit or contribute to one of those things in some way, I’m out. I will turn my focus on those three important things. If I’m stressed out about something, I’ll ask myself, “is this helping the big 3?”. If the answer is yes, then it’s obviously important. If the answer is no, then why am I wasting my precious time on it? There doesn’t seem to be enough time as it is! (In case you’re wondering, writing contributes to my mental fitness. It serves as an outlet for me.)

I encourage YOU to whittle down your huge list of ways to be perfect and consider what’s truly important to you. A person can’t be perfect and they certainly can’t be perfect at everything. What do I want to remember about my life when I’m old? Do I want to remember surfing on facebook while my kids watch tv? Or do I want to remember playing games with my kids and talking about their day? What do I want to be remembered for? Being “too busy” to talk to my kids, or looking in their eyes completely undistracted while they talk to me? What legacy am I leaving? What legacy are YOU leaving?

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2 thoughts on “My Anti-Resolutions

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  1. Exactly!! A couple of years ago, I suggested on my blog that people do “revolutions, not resolutions” …. to make some small but important changes, something that would be a real change …. more along the lines of “walk every day” instead of “I’m gonna do a 5K in 3 weeks, even though I haven’t moved since Teddy Roosevelt was President!” Resolutions are recipes for failure – revolution breeds small success that become larger successes! HOORAY for someone else who sees it the same way!

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