There’s a little voice that lives in the back of your head. When she comes to life she starts as a whisper. It’s a very faint whisper that usually starts around 3pm. She calls out to you, “you’re too tired to workout today”. You try to tell her that you’re not and your committed to your goal. She says, “okay, good for you” and then retreats.
The retreat is only temporary because she shows up again, only louder this time. She reminds you that you have laundry to do. You tell her you’ll do it later. She tells you that you promised to make something for the bake sale. You tell her you’ve already bought the ingredients and you’ll have plenty of time to get it done. “Okay”, she says and then slithers away to that little place that she lives in and sits quietly. She doesn’t sit for long, of course. She comes out much louder telling you that you don’t feel good and you can just workout tomorrow instead. “You deserve a break,” she says slyly. When that doesn’t work, she pulls out the big guns. She starts telling you that you need to spend more time with your kids. She reminds you that you haven’t had more than a 10 minute conversation with your husband in days. She’s loud now. She’s hitting you right in the gut. “Fine,” you relent.
You go home. You don’t do laundry. You don’t make anything for the bake sale; instead you just decide to stop by and pick something up from the bakery. Your husband watches one tv while your kids watch another and you sit and surf the web. You feel like complete crap. You can’t believe you listened to her. Is that your ass getting bigger? Tomorrow. Tomorrow you won’t listen to her. You’ll be stronger than that. If only you could shake that queasy feeling in your gut. That queasy feeling of failure.
Suddenly you hear her whisper again. You can hardly hear it. What is she saying? “I can’t believe you didn’t go to the gym today. What’s wrong with you, loser?”
How long are you going to let her talk to you like that?