Okay, where was I? That’s right! I told you about how I was thin when I met my husband but our bad habits caught up with us quickly. I also shared with you how I gained waaaay more weight than I was supposed to when I got pregnant the first time.
Of course, right after I had the baby in 2001 I decided I was totally going to get in shape. When I wasn’t staring at her beautiful little face, which was A LOT, or sitting around watching soap operas I did start walking. We lived in a super hilly neighborhood at the time and I was determined to get the weight off. Breast feeding just wasn’t working fast enough for me (ps, breast feeding didn’t cause me to lose ANY weight). So, I strapped my little girl in her stroller and headed out into the blazing August sun for a walk up those moutainous hills every single day. Until I got crazy sick. I soon learned I had mastitis, which luckily took care of itself. However, by the time I recovered from it, my only concern was being a mommy. I totally didn’t care anymore how I looked. I learned how to dress cute “for my size” and just said screw it. I look “good enough”.
I was obsessed with being a mommy and I despised going back to work. Not that I didn’t have a decent enough job. I just wanted to be home with her. An opportunity came up that allowed me to change jobs and take her to work with me. She was in the same building as me, with a nanny, but I could see her anytime I wanted. I thought this was a decent compromise. Somehow in the early weeks of taking this new job, I got into the habit of going to the gas station next door before I went into the office. Every single morning I would buy a Mountain Dew and a six pack of chocolate donuts. Every.Single.Morning. Couple that with sitting on my butt all day at work and absolutely no exercise and it doesn’t take a genius to figure out I was getting fatter by the day.
I ditched this habit a few (six) months in and started walking with a friend. Then I joined a gym. I went there probably about…ten times. We paid for a year. Those first two years I just honestly wasn’t concerned enough with how I looked (or felt) to do anything about it. I was still in double digit clothing, but as I said before I learned how to dress my body well enough that it wasn’t a big deal to me. I told myself that if I could do what I was doing and look no worse than I already did, then I was satisfied. And what I mean by satisfied is “settling”.
Fast forward to November 2003. We decide to add to our family and I have a positive pregnancy test on New Years Eve 2003. New Years Day I tell my husband this pregnancy is going to be different. I’m not going to let myself gain all that weight again because it was just ridiculous. We even went for a really long walk that day. I weighed 205 pounds the day baby number 2 was born in August 2004, which is even more than I weighed with baby number 1. I think I actually outweighed my husband on that one. Oh, and she was induced one week early.
Right after baby number 2 was born, my mother-in-law lost her battle with cancer. My daughter was 9 days old at the funeral. We were also in the process of selling our house so we could move from Illinois to North Carolina for my job. I didn’t get to participate in the purchase of our new house because I was too pregnant to fly. So, after giving birth at the end of August, dealing with the death of a beloved family member, and selling our house literally the day we left Illinois, we drove up to our new home (which I had never seen) the last week of October 2004. Needless to say, this was a damn stressful time in our lives. Oh, did I mention I also had post-partem depression? Weight loss was so far down on my list of priorities it never even crossed my mind. I did lose most of the baby weight within six months or so. I think more from sheer exhaustion than any effort on my part. But I was still considered overweight. It would be another two years before I would care enough (or have the energy) to do anything about it.