Uh Oh! Are You A Bully?

photo credit: comingsoon.netPerhaps I’m just hyper-aware of bullying right now because my baby will be entering middle school soon. But it seems evertime I turn around I’m hearing, reading, or watching a story about kids being bullied and in some extreme cases even killing themselves over it.

These kids are bullied for so many stupid things. They are different, they are gay, they are small, or big, they are too fat or too skinny, they believe in Jesus, or they don’t. Whatever it is these bullies decide is “wrong” with them, these victims are relentlessly reminded of it. Oh and it’s not just at school anymore. It’s on facebook, twitter, blogs, wherever. These kids can’t escape it. There’s no safe haven for them.

In some cases the parents figure out what’s going on and step in and something gets done about it. I suspect we don’t hear much about those cases. It’s the cases where these kids keep it all bottled up inside. Or the parents’ plea for help falls on deaf ears at the schools. Perhaps even the schools’ hands are tied. For whatever reason, these kids find this bullying so completely unbearable they just can’t possibly live with it anymore.

It’s not just kids, of course. I read an article the other day that a German model living in the UK committed suicide. It is suspected it may have had to do with on-line trolls bashing her for her appearance. A model!

Think about how you talk to yourself. Let me write that again. THINK.ABOUT.HOW.YOU.TALK.TO.YOURSELF. Are you a bully? Do you look in the mirror and curse yourself for your appearance. Do you say disparaging things to yourself because of cellulite? Do you have a bad day because of a number on a scale? Do you call yourself fat? Worthless?

Don’t be a bully. Be kind to yourself. The victims of bullies are tortured. It changes how they feel about themselves. Maybe they didn’t know they had a big nose. But for the rest of their life that’s all they’ll think about in regard to their appearance. Why would you do that to yourself? Imagine if your son, daughter, brother, sister, or friend came home and said someone made rude remarks about their appearance. Imagine if you were standing in line at the grocery store and some bitch behind you told you that your ass was huge. Um, really? No, it’s time to put a stop to this. It’s time to stop bullying.

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4 thoughts on “Uh Oh! Are You A Bully?

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  1. Another great post, Chrystal. And so true. It amazes me how disparaging people can be to themselves. My mother may not have done everything right, but the one thing I am forever grateful to her for is never making comments about being fat (which she wasn’t), ugly, dumb, etc. Instead, she was assertive, confident, and strong–at least when talking to me, anyway. I didn’t even know what eating disorders were until I got to college and saw what some of the girls were doing to their bodies.

    1. I am SO glad your mom was like that. I had the opposite but never really had body image issues until I got older. The very words you said your mother never used are also not spoken in my house. Even if we can’t pull it together for ourselves (or at least until we do) we at the very least owe it to our kids to not project our image issues onto them.

  2. This is so true. I am my own worst critic, my husband says it all the time. I would never say such things to others then why do I say them to myself? I am done with such destructive behavior. Thank you for expressing it so poignantly.

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